Mental Health Practices

A starter kit to maintaining sanity built from my experiences during the last 9 years

Today’s wonderful circumstances have brought up my mental health and of those around me as a top priority. In the light of recent events and extreme stress levels due to isolation, I am grateful to have a mental hygiene routine. It has helped me to stay sane & to keep going, I had a panic attack last year that I had not experienced before. This is pre-covid, I can only imagine not having practices and ending up in various situations to feel the way people do during these times. Therefore:

This piece is gonna talk about practices that have helped me maintain my sanity with work, chores, friends, dating, news and through life in general. These techniques have also accompanied my breathing & meditation practices over the years. Let’s begin.

optional background score music for this reading

Having a Panic Attack

Let me be clear. I have been meditating since 2009 & regularly since 2012 with a couple of low periods in between. Empowered with that, I should be extremely immune to anything mental health. Anxiety, suicidal tendencies, panic attacks, stress, depression — you get the drill. A lot of situations in my life that have appeared in others lives too, have resulted in extreme trauma like being hit by a car for them, whereas for me it has felt like just a soft punch in the tummy. This still doesn’t mean I am immune. Even if you are Rambo, the bullets will still injure you. So, Here’s what a panic attack looks like to me:

My Classroom during Orientation. (Not representative of a lecture friendly atmosphere)

It was my 9:30 am lecture, entering the hall as the second last person. Late by American standards and punctual by Indian standards. I had experienced a tough time accepting coming out of a relationship, moved away from family, filled my head about dating in NYC with Hollywood stuff like Definitely, Maybe and Modern Love. I just saw someone in my class and my head decided that if I try, it might work out with this girl. The next thought was a visual of me on a date with her. The following one, an effortless conversation. It evolved into a spiral of a 10 scenarios of everything working out perfectly and a relationship happening. Which triggered my heart rate to go up, breathing speed to increase, hands and legs feeling restless and shaky, I was frozen in my seat at the same time. I had never experienced a panic attack before. It was dumb. My head IMAGINED going into a perfect relationship & it was a trigger!
Ridiculous! Since I have been regular with mental health practices & breath-work. Even with this storm hitting me in the middle of the lecture, I could step back from it. Observe all this that was happening, get control of my breathing and let it go. Seeing that I am okay, alone and here. I was calm. Within 5 VERY Mindful Minutes.

Later, during the day I reached my place and laughed at myself. Such a bullshit reason to worry, I hadn’t even talked to her. How could I be even worries that this might go well. Clearly I knew something was bothering me and I needed to let go of my impressions from my previous relationships. I never mentioned this to almost anyone after that week. I am even confused about who this girl was amongst like 3 of them. I just remember the feeling and the trigger.

I learnt something important:

1. It is okay for anxiety and panic to have absolutely absurd reasons. In the present moment when it happens, it is not even real! But at the same time, it feels more intense than the reality.

2. Not everyone can uncouple their mind from the moment. People don’t even know that they are getting angry, raising their voices, doing irrational things out of jealousy or feeling physical pain because they are experiencing guilt or emotional hurt.

3. I could come out of it since I have learnt to consciously observe this negative storm and take a step back by practicing everyday to strengthen my mind.

Today, when we are all isolated, away from physical comfort and still in need of the same validation, productivity and pressured to consume the fast moving info on social. Exposed to this tendency than ever before. Now, even a text message would be enough to trigger something like this. Mental distress is at an all-time high and sadly, suicide rates accompany these thoughts.

I want to share the 2 approaches that I use, to save my mind. I usually incorporate one of these practices depending on my temperament in the moment. One of them harnesses IQ while the other EQ, in the long run, I feel they even develop it. Read the one you think you connect with better first.

The Academic’s Approach(IQ):

I will SCIENCE this out.

Typically, you eat or drink something funny or try to look for validation with friends or dates. Let’s say each time that I am stressed, I am gonna take some morphine - the drug that soothes physical pains and cools the mind. Now upon discovery, it was found out that the brain has receptors for morphine to fit in which is why it was so effective. Almost like a key fitting in a lock, which highlighted that the brain is fully capable of making its own morphine or a version of it! that’s what we call Endorphins. One of the 4 happiness hormones. Dopamine for validation, usually experienced as the thrill of gambling or even storms of likes on social media. Serotonin which gives us a feeling of resourcefulness or social dominance. Oxytocin which is released upon physical contact generally, like warm hugs, cuddles etc. All stress-relieving activities are a mix of these fantastic 4 chemicals.

They do have a peculiar enemy, Cortisol. Be it fear, anxiety or stress behind it is Cortisol. Cortisol isn’t all bad, if not for that some of you wouldn’t fear jumping off the rooftop of a building. It is not so much that cortisol hurts but the lack of our 4 saviors causes problems. I’ll individually list out the activities or habits that you can undertake for each of them.

Please NOTE: This is my research not to be substituted for medical advice.

Endorphins: Easiest way is to exercise. Having a work out routine releases endorphins which in turn would reduce mental & physical fatigue. Exercising in a group is even better. Massages also help, during these times you may apply hot oils before or in evenings before a nice bath.
How to detect if they’re low?: Addictions, anxiety, random pains, irritability & moodiness are said to be caused by lack of endorphins.

Dopamine: Here, BALANCE is key. Excessive dopamine caused by mental stimulation like excessive social media, indulgence in food, pornography or exceeding any rewarding activities in the brain cause dopamine to shoot up. This messes up memory and cognitive ability. Adequate sleep is key to dopamine, coupled with Exercise it gives amazing results. Taking up a creative hobby would help your brain to regulate dopamine levels.

Serotonin: This hormones is responsible for a lot of our happiness. It also affects cognition and a feeling of social dominance, feelings of abundance or control over social situations to a degree. It is secreted when our gut is happy with the food we eat. GUT. not tongue. Which means, eating lighter easily digestible food (usually simple carbs, good fats, high fiber, simpler proteins and fresh produce fall in that category especially green leafy veggies & nuts). This is why people feel energized after Fasting, if done properly. vitamin B12 intake also helps. Although there is little evidence but volunteering has said to increase endorphins & serotonin.

Oxytocin: The lover’s hormone. It is secreted on cuddles, feeling loved, comfortable, safe physical touch, sex, warm hugs. In a nutshell feeling of belongingness. It is also related to approval & acceptance of something. Now, Finding a safe space for intimacy itself is a stressful task be it dating apps or commitments to lock it in. The best remedy is meditation. Even intimate concerts, sing alongs, dancing, group and games which create a feeling of belongingness also enable oxytocin secretion. At home concerts are a good idea. The most economically & time efficient remedy is to have a meditation practice.

To conclude: Exercising, 8 hours of sleep, vitamin B12 intake, proper bowel movements, meditation, singing & dancing for fun.

These 4 cannot be easily monitored but a common diagnosis of the need to work on them is anxiety, mood fluctuations, random insecurities or being triggered. Often times we are unable to diagnose these ourselves, unless they are increasing or decreasing. You need to have a decent EQ for observing yourself and your effects on others. What I write below for EQ also enables these 4 but as a byproduct of practices.

The Lover’s Approach (EQ):

“Mad, totally, irrevocably, irrationally, in love with a goddamn river”

The lover’s approach is unique it requires either faith or a kind of irrational lens towards life. Even an intent to love is enough at times. This approach is built on Faith & gratitude. Fostering them in situations throughout life or even cultivating them, Here’s an understanding.

What is faith ?

Picture a fan in a room you are sleeping in. How do you know it’s not gonna fall? Maybe you think it is been put up by someone reliable. Maybe you know that the screws create friction which creates enough tension to have a counter force to gravitation. Or you just be assume, in a world that it is a complete possibility that the fan can fall, you become an “idiot” about it. In the moment, you believe it won’t fall because it is kinda common sense? This is faith. It is a matter of the mind. In that moment, kind of irrational, but very real. A feeling of safety comes from this kind of faith. One can’t live, without exercising some degree of faith. If you look into your beliefs enough, you’ll most likely find something akin to this.

Over the years of my search, learning and indulging in agnostic, religious, atheistic and spiritual pursuits, I have just reached one belief. I understand that there is a higher power I don’t see. I believe there is some higher power (calling this HiPo) - I don’t know much about it except for the simple fact that something more than what we can visibly see, exists.

I drive all my gratitude and appreciation around me towards this and be mad happy about something and be thankful. This is how to go about it.

The attitude to GRATITUDE:

Gratitude journals have proven to be revolutionary for mental health, you can google up various studies. But how should your gratitude attitude be? so that it does not end up as a forced practice but as natural as brushing teeth in the morning. I’ll give you an example.

Say, a bird shits on your head. How do you be grateful in that situation? Simply, be very fucking grateful that elephants don’t fly! Thankfully they don’t stand a chance. It won’t clean the shit off your head but would give you a moment of relief even with that slimy, stinky thing stuck to your hair that it is not a giant ball of digested grass. Using pessimism for gratitude is what we should aim for.

I practice this without something bad happening. Sometimes I just look at a building and think, some particles from different parts of the earth had to come together, specific people had the vision, some people had the money, they worked diligently, so that today I could see this building. All this, such a marvel! It is amazing. I see NYC sewers made in India. The city’s foundation to be dutch. Expansion to be British. Spirit American. Morphing, evolving, constantly. How can I not be thankful?

Extend this to a city, country, the planet, even your plant, friends, your special one. Be in love with them. Appreciate, like the greatest lover. Just be mesmerized, and truly cherish the beauty of the creation around you. Go mad. The expression should warm your heart and create and urge to even lick your subject in love. You feel that freedom. For those moments, your mind just thinks about that one thing and it is precious. For that exact moment, for this moment, PRACTICE BEING IN LOVE.

In Yoga this is called Bhakti. Does not matter what your subject is, deeply feel and be in complete, mad, utterly irrational irrevocably love in the moment.

Faith as a Mental Health Tool:

HiPo with Religion -

If you are religious, mental health should be manageable for you through resorting to your faith. It might have been mocked in recent decades but religions are essential to psychological and mental wellbeing of society. You have an entity that you accept that you resort to. Practice prayer and gratitude. It works for the long term.

If you have come up and about in a curious mindset with religion generally Hindus, Buddhist, Jewish, Sikh or any other faith setting that encouraged questioning / provided a variety of opinions and options as experiences, the practice in the section above might work very well for you.

Also, it is okay to put a Martin Luther King portrait in similar purposes, just as long as your faith works for your, nothing else matters.

Music helps me with this a lot, especially related to faith. Krishna Das is a personal favorite. Even Kenny G works in a slightly similar way for me.

Word of caution: Please don’t force your faith on other humans, it is a deeply personal thing. Like Americans treat ‘money talk’ & Indians treat ‘sex talk’. For personal, private circles.

Atheistic

If you’re an atheist, I would understand that you truly see everything as matter. Mostly without life but a perfect combination of accidental arrangements that let life and other things happen. You see the true reality of matter. I appreciate if you identify as an atheist not as an aversion from religion but in true denial of any higher power’s existence. It is still fine.

Can you be grateful? Can you feel love? That’s all that matters. Writing a journal about one new thing everyday that you are thankful for, before you sleep. That, is a really great practice. I am not saying it would do miracles and you can project a sports car to happen in your life. But I want you to consider the scientist’s approach to serotonin, oxytocin and dopamine.

Whenever you are happy, these hormones are dancing in your head. A simple practice of being grateful and doing one random act of kindness can help.

Why the Gratitude & Love?: These practices enable you to create memories that are happy, filled with love & gratitude and they are compounded over time. These also create safe happy places in your past as well as put your mind in a habit to be calm in thought.

The shortest way to implement these is to get a practice that enables the secretion of 4 hormones & enables EQ practices and development is to start meditation and breath-work. I brief about it with links to my favorite practices. You may pick and choose and see what works best for you. As long as you don’t judge the techniques by the people trying to learn it vs the people who have mastered it, you would be evaluating it right in my opinion.

Above all - Meditation & Breath-work

I make it a point to encourage my friends at least once to go for a meditation/breath-work workshop. Simply because this is the best step forward. It’s like introducing them to car washing after years of owning a car. Breath-work & meditation help people cleanse mental stresses that compound over time. It’s is a great way to break the chain of negative or repetitive thought. It enables secretion of oxytocin & serotonin in ample amounts with balancing dopamine and enabling endorphin secretion. A simple google search would lay down numerous benefits of meditation for you. I would just share my top two must know techniques for you to consider:

SKY breathing (breathwork)
Sahaj Samadhi Meditation (personal meditation practice)

SKY can be easily learnt online but Sahaj needs in person instruction. You may go around and find meditation practices. I encourage you to go around take a taste and pick and choose the one your heart feels comfortable with even if the mind feels uneasy. Since it is the mind that needs to be tamed through these, there may be resistance. I would love to hear about it or you can send me your questions, I am more than happy to guide you for finding a practice.

Apps I like: Sattva (Meditation) Journey.cloud Diary (Gratitude journal)

Signoff link drop:

Music: This absolutely brilliant piece of Tamil Music produced in NYC:

Streaming: Jack Ryan (Prime video)

Reading: World After Capital A book about economic, psychological and informational freedom by Albert Wenger. It’s free to read online and a work in progress.

SaaS:

1. ZENLY an app only for your close friends.

2. Anchor.fm start your own podcast

Kindly share with your friends:

You may follow me on:
Twitter | LinkedIn | Medium | Email
www.bharatdevgandhi.com

Comments are really appreciated. Would love to know what you’d like me to write about.